BY Lux Alptraum
January 25, 2007
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In Woman: An Intimate Geography (a phenomenal book, pick it up if it’s not already on your shelf), Natalie Angier offers up a curious statistic:

According to the University of Chicago’s 1994 Sex in America survey, three quarters of wedded women say they always or usually reach climax during sex…. married, conservative Christian women were the likeliest to say that they came every single time they copulated.

Apparently, Ted Haggard has heard of this study (Anne Coulter, too). It’s the kind of thing that a certain type of evangelical will trot out during debates on matters relating to sex: a sort of “fuck you” to the pro-sex masses, a way of proving that God really does love the evangelicals. He gives their women consistent orgasms: what bigger miracle is there than that?

So what gives? Would my years of anorgasmia (excuse me, preorgasmia) have been wiped away if I had been born into an evangelical household? Are Christians just really that much better in bed?

Coulter and Haggard never really offer up an explanation of the phenomenon, preferring to act smug and claim that God is on their side. Angier, on the other hand, suggests the following:

For our God-fearing sisters, marriage is a sacrament, which means that every bounce on the matrimonial mattress is a holy and ennobling event. Right makes might, and with power comes the glory, and so it is that foes of the sexual revolution can emerge as orgasmic empresses.

It’s no secret that the female orgasm is highly influenced by said female’s state of mind (the same can be true of men as well, though often to a lesser extent). Should we really be surprised that women who’ve stuck to the straight and narrow path to some kind of moral righteousness aren’t conflicted and confused about their orgasms? Should we really be surprised that they’re able to lie back, enjoy sex, and reap the rewards of pleasurable muscle contractions?

Probably not.

Here, then, is a better question: is orgasm alone really the best measure of a healthy, happy sex life (or life, period)? Do consistent orgasms translate to being happy with one’s partner? To being comfortable with one’s sexuality, sexual desires, and body? Do consistent orgasms really mean “better sex”? And what on earth do we mean when we say that Christians have better sex anyway?

It can be very tempting to reduce our analysis of the quality of one’s sex life to a very basic equation, an “If orgasmic, then good sex.” But it’s also extremely important to remember that sexuality — and the idea of positive, healthy sexuality — goes far beyond the genitals, far beyond intercourse, far beyond orgasm alone.

So yes: Anne Coulter may have an orgasm every time she fucks. But that alone does not mean she has better sex: nor is it an indication that we should all accept Jesus into our hearts, and into our beds, in pursuit of the best sex of our lives.

This piece originally appeared on Sexerati.