BY Lux Alptraum
July 2, 2007
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2 Comments

I was recently tipped off to the existence of this toy (known as “The Toy” — creative, I know): basically, a bluetooth enabled vibrating egg that’s programmed to “respond” to text messages. Not all text messages, mind you: just special tagged ones. Ones from that certain someone.

Cyberdildonics (aka teledildonics, aka internet-enabled sex toys — though, I suppose, The Toy is technically a text-enabled sex toy) have a long, complicated history, much of which boils down to a lot of awesome concepts that don’t pan out very well. Without going into too much detail (you can check out SlashDong for that), the fundamental problem with cyberdildonics is that they’re usually trying to do the impossible: that is, replicate actual, in person sex using the Internet and sex toys.

It’s not going to happen.

What’s interesting about The Toy, then (and boy do I wish it had a better name), is that it’s not trying to replicate fucking: quite the opposite, in fact. Instead of mimicking the kind of sex that humans do best, it plays up on the kind of sex that machines do best — and allows for some human interaction for added excitement, anticipation, and fun.

Maybe it’s just me, but that seems more fun than one of these (seriously, a serial port?). See also: Boinkology’s inner slut wants to know if The Toy can only be activated by one number — what about would be Toy enthusiasts who happen to be polyamorous?