BY Lux Alptraum
October 10, 2007
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You can learn a lot of things by joining the military — and if you don’t believe us, just take a look at this recruiting material. The military’s all about lessons for life, and the future, and, um, success.

Unfortunately, the recruiting materials never seem to mention what soldiers learn about sex — so we’re grateful that we managed to get our hands on this video. Turns out, being in the army isn’t just about fighting for freedom and kicking ass. It’s also about Dirty Sanchezes, milking the prostate, and tricking a girl into letting you come on her face.

Clearly, our tax dollars are paying for something special.

But, you know, on the plus side, at least these soldiers know that getting up the butt doesn’t make you gay.