BY Lux Alptraum
October 31, 2007
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During PodCamp Boston, I had the pleasure of appearing as a guest on an episode of PulverTV (you can view the clip here). While offering advice on how to have a good sex life — be honest, be open, be safe, and get consent — it was brought to my attention that the very same advice could be offered to those interested in being a good venture capitalist.

The comment stuck in my head. Back at Boinkology HQ, we started thinking: and the more we thought about it, the more similarities we started to see between being a successful VC and successful in the ways of love. Thanks to Seth Levine’s VC Adventure, we were able to find some advice on how to become a venture capitalist — advice which, we’re pleased to say, can be easily adapted for everyone and anyone looking to get into a relationship.

Step one: Assume you will not be able to land a job as a venture capitalist date. Counter-intuitive? Sure. Mildly depressing? Perhaps. But hear us out. We don’t mean that you should assume that you’re undateable: quite the opposite, in fact.

You should approach the world of dating knowing that you don’t need to land a date — that you’re awesome and wonderful and complete all by yourself, that finding a person to date or marry or make out with is just an added bonus to your already kickass life. We all know confidence is sexy: being confident enough to know that you’re awesome with or without a date may just be the sexiest thing of all.

Step two: Understand the math. What do you want out of a relationship? What do you bring to the table? A good understanding of what you want to get — and are willing to give — makes it that much easier to figure out what kind of relationship (and which kind of person) is going to work for you — and whether it’s worth your time to pursue a specific situation.

Step three: Get close to VC’s the kind of people you want to date. It’s the oldest trick in the book. Want to date a tennis player? Start playing more tennis. Want to date a hacker? Hang out at your local hacker space. Even if you don’t find Mr./Ms. Right, you’ll still be making awesome friends — an essential component for step four.

Step four. Be smart about networking. And we don’t just mean thinking long and hard about whether or not you want to use MySpace or Facebook. The people you surround yourself with — friends, coworkers, and other acquaintances — can strongly affect who you have access to and who you meet. If you want to date someone who’s highly motivated and career driven, hanging out with a bunch of unemployed potheads probably isn’t going to cut it.

Step five: Don’t get discouraged. Finding someone really awesome and worth your time can be difficult and even frustrating — but it’s important to remember that when you do find the right person (or persons), all the time spent waiting and looking will seem totally worth it. And if you don’t find them, just remember that you still have your awesome self to hang out with (in other words, see step one).