BY Lux Alptraum
November 19, 2007
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When people ask us for sex advice, we usually try to keep it general — be honest with your partner, communicate about your needs, and always, always get consent. Sure, it’s not the most specific advice, but there’s a reason for that: no two penises are alike, no two clitorises are alike, no two bodies, period, are alike. What works for one person sucks for another, and there’s no telling how to be the best possible lover unless you, yes, communicate and find out what, exactly, your partner wants and needs.

Of course, that advice isn’t particularly sexy, so it’s probably not likely to make it’s way into a Men’s Health article — or onto the front page of Digg. No, what makes it there are the oh-so-specific, “guaranteed orgasm” tips, the kind that promise to turn you into the best possible lover, in any situation, so long as you just follow them to the T. You know what we’re talking about. Tips like:

“My boyfriend puts me in orbit when he gives me oral sex. It’s not his technique per se, or some quirky aspect of his tongue that has me mesmerized — it’s the way he seems to savor every minute of it.”

Why it works: One of a woman’s greatest fears is that she smells or tastes bad below the belt. Allay that fear, and everything else you do will be golden. “When we know he’s totally into it, that alone takes us to another level of pleasure,” says Paget.

How to do it: Catch her eye in the midst of the action, moan, or simply tell her how much you’re loving what you’re doing.

Which is great, sure — unless, say, your partner happens to be one of those women who doesn’t particularly care for oral sex (and yes, contrary to popular belief, they do exist). Likewise any advice on g-spot stimulation, or clitoral stimulation, or anal stimulation, or penile stimulation — it’s all well and good until you happen to hook up with a partner who just doesn’t get off the way Cosmo or Men’s Health or the big book of sex tricks tells you that all your partners are supposed to get off.

Which brings us back to the original point. Want some good sex advice? Want to be the best lover your partner has ever had? Start by communicating with your partner. Find out what he or she likes — and if they’re not sure, experiment and explore, being sure to keep the lines of communication open, finding out what works and what doesn’t. That’s worth more than all the scrunchie tricks and humming tips you’ll find in any magazine — and, even, better, it’s guaranteed to work with every partner you’ll ever have.