BY Richard Blakeley
November 20, 2007
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This morning’s New York Times has an article about a problem we all face at some point in our lives: denial.

Sure, you might not be in denial about something, but surely you have friends who are. Denial comes in lots of forms, from people who shop too much and drive up credit card debt to couples who cheat.

Example: I might be in denial about my sneaker fetish — seriously, what straight guy has 21 pairs of shoes? (See above for a picture of my sneaker collection. Yes, I admit I have a problem.) But that’s just material: denial really kicks into high gear when it’s about relationships.

When I started to suspect that my ex was cheating on me, I waited several weeks before actually confronting her about it. Because, seriously, who wants to hear that your girlfriend of over two years is cheating on you? Especially with some weirdo friend of hers who looks like a chick?

Nowhere do people use denial skills to greater effect than with a spouse or partner. In a series of studies, Sandra Murray of the University of Buffalo and John Holmes of the University of Waterloo in Ontario have shown that people often idealize their partners, overestimating their strengths and playing down their flaws.

Finding out that my girlfriend was cheating would have been a horrible blow to the ego — more than I could have taken at the time. But the truth always comes out: several weeks later, after we had broken up, my suspicions were confirmed.

What are your friends in denial about?