BY
November 25, 2007
22,090 views
32 Comments
Attention WalMart Shoppers, Masturbation Is Not Allowed On the Premises

[NOTE: The original XTube post has been taken down but has reappeared here on Fleshbot.]

A lot of weird stuff has passed through the halls of Boinkology HQ. We’ve seen cartoon threeways, clit pumps, and more than our fair share of bad amateur porn. But nothing we’ve seen before could ever have prepared us for this video of a guy masturbating his way through WalMart, the Arrowhead Mall Dillard’s, and Barnes and Noble.

Is it a fuck you to corporate America? Is it extreme exhibitionism? Is it viral promotion for WalMart? We can’t even begin to guess.

We can (theoretically) understand the appeal of public masturbation, and hey, we even kinda understand why it might be a turn on to film yourself while you’re jacking it in a store. What we can’t even begin to understand, however, is why you would use the Sneaker Pimps as the soundtrack for your public jerk off film. Really, man — the Sneaker Pimps? Really?

And while we’re on the WTF tip, we gotta come out and say that we just can’t support any sexual practice that forces nonconsenting parties to participate. There’s a reason why flashing is illegal: forcing your sexuality on innocent bystanders is just wrong. Not to be all “Think of the children!” — but seriously, think of the children.

Just in case you needed more proof that this is pretty messed up, here are a few screencaps of the action:

dillards1.jpg

dillards2.jpg

dillards3.jpg

walmart1.jpg

These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages.
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • Google
  • Reddit
  • StumbleUpon
  • Technorati
  • TwitThis
FILED UNDER : ,

Comments

  • Busty Gal says :

    isn’t this just feeding his (medium-sized) lust for attention?

  • Lux Alptraum says :

    I’d say his lust for attention is more than medium sized — and the commenters on XTube are probably doing an even better job feeding it.

  • MG says :

    Creeeeepy.

    What really struck me was the music choice. This bouncy club-kid track over, what looks to be, completely joyless masturbating. Looking at him nervously watching for cameras or staring into the racks of TVs/Pants he seems so detached.

    The ending though, that’s creeptacular. I’m familiar enough with Barnes and Noble recognize the signage for the kids deparment right behind him. Which likely means he was standing right near the Young Adult/Teen books, if that’s a standard B&N layout. That’s where he drops trou and strides about. Ewww…

  • Tachy Glossus says :

    I guess the reason there is no deterrent to this kind of activity is because Wal-Mart stores are chronically understaffed (remember “always the low price!”)!

  • Lux Alptraum says :

    MG,

    Thanks for the info about B&N. I must repeat, “Think of the children!”

    Or maybe not — if he’s masturbating near the kid’s section, maybe thinking of the children is the last thing we want him to do.

  • Tranz says :

    Damn, I would love to catch him in one of my local stores. I would say something to him first. if he acted like an ass I would have to drop him where he stands. Call police then show them the videos online. Bring it dude.

  • Jay says :

    crazy!

  • DG says :

    hey if that’s medium-sized then i feel amazing about myself

  • Tranx says :

    Tranz is an internet tough guy.. he drops people lawlz go flex yer keyboard d00d

    “bring it dude” lawl yer such a tard.

  • Gordon says :

    He will be arrested for sure since this video is getting popular.

  • ender says :

    OMG THINK ABOUT THE KIDS.

    I highly doubt he’s thinking about kids, stupid. god I hate kids.

  • seabert says :

    I just wonder what excuse he has planned in his head to say if he got caught.

    He’s Harvard material.

  • The Scoot says :

    I’ve met Harvard Graduates. Trust me, there is nothing so masturbatory as being able to say “I went to Harvard”…

  • Lolita says :

    Oops! Video no longer available.

  • Ignorance on Fire »&hellip says :

    [...] thinking this guy who is dropping trou in local shopping malls to pleasure himself here in Arizona has some holiday-based issues far worse than the Grinch.  I mean, I had my share [...]

  • Kevin says :

    myspace.com/motocross_stud319

  • Anorak News » Blog &hellip says :

    [...] 21 year-old college has taken to masturbating in the Arrowhead Mall in Glendale, Arizona. At the time of writing, BaseballPlaya has posted 31 videos of himself [...]

  • peter says :

    My hero<3

  • heterophobic says :

    Why don’t hot people ever do things like this?

  • debauchette says :

    Wow. This is seriously hilarious.

  • jack says :

    not hot? he may not be your type, but i think he’s worth an extended look…i don’t care for the circumstances, and i’m sure he’s got issues…still, if you’ve seen the guys that walk around naked on pride day in Toronto, trust me, this guy is a big step up.

  • Lux Alptraum says :

    I think everyone is beautiful in their own way!

    I also like puppies, rainbows, and long walks on the beach.

  • Ricky says :

    I thought the video was kind of exciting in a creepy way. I would like to see what he jizzed on.

  • asidh says :

    Japan has so much porn like this. Is it a coincidence that the guy looks like he might be japanese?

  • Eric says :

    Okay the first few scenes were like 1) wow that’s kind of risky 2) eww his penis, but the last scene was like WOW. just WOW. that guy has some balls (that need to be castrated). I was gettin nervous myself at that last scene, but it’s still extremely hilarious to watch with friends. until he puts up a video where a little kid walks by and starts crying.

  • digital_one says :

    Funny , give it to the U.S.A. Man

  • SuperStarSteve says :

    Buy a cam, sit at home and jerk off all you want on the online sites. What would he say in his defense if he was actually caught? “Sorry officer, I don’t know what comes over me when I see geriatrics shopping together….I can’t stop!”
    Or could this be a push for the right and privilege to masturbate in public?

  • Carambanation says :

    I pity whichever B&N customer stepped in the leavings of his moneyshot from the final scene.

    That’s just….eeeewwwww.

  • Eric says :

    mommy mommy someone spilled icing on thomas the tank engine!

  • Stacy says :

    If you’re going to do this, at least have a huge fucking penis, e.g. 8+ inches.

  • Comedy Blog says :

    They actually encourage this in Belarus.

  • stentofon says :

    crazy

Leave a reply :

SUBSCRIPTION:
RSS
Comments RSS
BOINKOLOGY IS:
Editor:
Lux Alptraum
Contributors:
Garrett
Monica Shores
© 2014 BOINKOLOGY