BY
December 12, 2007
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7 Comments
Dating Through Science

Tired of the hassles and frustrations of dating? Exhausted by date after date that just doesn’t click? Ever wish you could stop searching and just let science find “the one” for you? You know, the one “with a natural odour you’ll love, with whom you’d have healthier children, a more satisfying sex life, and more”?

Well, you’re in luck. Allow us to introduce Scientific Match, the first ever dating site to match users based on — wait for it — their DNA. Because, you know, science has never steered us wrong: and clearly, the perfect match is all in the genes.

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Comments

  • The Scoot says :

    Oh, What a load of horse crap! Wait, screw that, horse crap helps plants grow. This is absolutely worthless.

    Uh… What an issue of Newsweek!

    First off, our genes merely tell our cells how to organize themselves, NOT how an organism ought to live. Secondly, environment and culture play HUGE roles in how an organism develops. Moreover, genes can either be on, or off. If a person’s epigenetic makeup is WAY off from their original makeup, this test will match someone up with a person that they may very well have NOTHING in common with…

    Thank you, Lux. I now have a reason to run another quarter mile than usual. See… it’s good to work out anger and frustration in constructive ways.

  • Lux Alptraum says :

    Wait… my genes won’t tell me who I think is hot?

    FUCK! MY PLAN IS RUINED!

  • Richard Blakeley says :

    Scoot, anything to help me get laid I’m all for, DNA or whatever… bring it!

  • The Scoot says :

    Richard, I am afraid pieces of protein nanograms long won’t help anyone except for the people paid to run the tests.

  • Richard Blakeley says :

    Scoot, what a bonerkiller!

  • The Scoot says :

    The Scoot: destroying people’s hopes and dreams since Fall 1980.

  • Lux Alptraum says :

    Blakeley’s boner is his hope and dream?

    Man, no wonder he’s always in the bathroom…

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