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February 21, 2008
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22 Comments
Contest: Bi Any Other Name

Bisexual porn movies have notoriously bad names. Don’t believe us? Check out the list of nominees for Best Bisexual Video from last weekend’s GayVN Awards:

“Bi Accident,” Devil’s Film
“Bi Pole Her,” Third World Media
“Naughty Bi Nature 5,” Macho Man
“The Bi Apple,” Adam & Eve

And these are the good bisexual movies, people.

Can you come up with a better — or at least funnier, or even more ridiculous — name for a bi porno? We’re offering a copy of the award winning porno flick “The Bi Apple” (directed by friend of Boinkology Audacia Ray) to whoever comes up with what we judge to be the awesomest title for a bi porno movie. Yes, it must have bi in the title. Extra points if you come up with an equally awesome plot description.

Entries due in by next Friday (2/29). Please submit them by email to contest@boinkology.com.

Here, we’ll even throw in one of our own to get you started:

This fall, be sure to scan your local adult video store for “Bi-Ped,” an erotic, bisexual tale of human evolution.

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Comments

  • Amber says :

    “Bi Pole Her?” OMG.

  • RD says :

    “(It Ain’t No Lie) Baby’s Bi, Bi, Bi.”

    Then again my porn title streak peaked when, as rad_matter, I won a “What Would Fleshbot Readers Do?” contest.

  • The Scoot says :

    “Voltage Converters”, about sexy free-thinking electrical contractors. They go AC to DC with no problem, and they have the equipment to do the job right.

    “Switch Men”, about sexy free-thinking railway workers. They move their cargo on all kinds of track, and they have the equipment to do the job right.

    “Negotiable Terms”, about sexy free-thinking copyright lawyers. They revise the terms of their clients, and they have the office in which to do the job right.

    I can go on.

  • Richard Blakeley says :

    Bi meets beastiality in Richard Blakeley’s newest production “Bi Bi Birdie”

  • Lux Alptraum says :

    Amber:

    That was my thought exactly.

  • Isil says :

    Richard how did you manage to get Tiger Woods for your movie??

  • Richard Blakeley says :

    ISIL : I had to do some things I’m not proud of… can we just leave it at that?

  • Garrett says :

    “Warning Homophobes: Boys Fuck Each Other In This One”

    …well, that’s what I think putting “bi” in the title screams.

    “The Bi Apple” is the best porn, like everz. Some hot schoolgirl chick show up in it, but she doesn’t do anything. Rip! Off! ;)

  • Lux Alptraum says :

    Garrett:

    You mean me? Heh.

    Being on the set of the movie was fun!

  • Mikey Mongol says :

    I’m going to go with my old favorite suggestion: Roller Der-bi.

  • gordonzola says :

    I would love to see a Black Power porn called “Bi Any Means Necessary”. Instead of cheesy music, some Malcolm X speeches would be nice.

  • Audacia Ray says :

    I think up ridiculous bi porno names all the time, but I have the added hilarious power to turn them into actually porno movies. Heh heh.

  • Lux Alptraum says :

    Audacia, I am simultaneously in awe of and terrified by your power.

  • Wilfried says :

    “As time goes Bi” – An anthology of Bi Porn (There were some lovely bisexual movies shot in brothel in the 30′s !).

    “The Bi-Ble” – Catholic Bi Porn is most certainly a niche ?

  • Wilfried says :

    “Bi Porn ? Sorry, I don’t Bi it.” – The Sociology of Bi Porn.

    “Bi-Cycling” – Bi Porn on Wheels (Or during the “Tour de France” ; Linguistic note > in France, “Bi” sounds like “Bee”… That’s why birds do it, bees do it !).

  • Garrett says :

    Lux:

    Your cameo, and the pizza guy, made me laugh out loud. Porn with a sense of humor is HOT.

    How about “Bi-Pass” for older bisexuals who’ve had heart surgery?

  • stannate says :

    A riff off of an old porn title:

    “What’s This Bisexual Scene Doing In My Butt-Pirate Movie?”

  • JT says :

    Rock a Bi, Baby

  • Wilfried says :

    Gosh ! “GARRET” already wrote “Bi-Pass”… So, my last shot will be :

    “Tri it, Bi it” – Taking Bi Porn a step further (“Try it, Bi it”, if you want to stick to Bi stuff).

    *****

    “Don’t call me a dyke… I’m a Bi-ke !” – Lesbian & Bi Porn (On wheels ? A Bike Messenger lesbian on an adventurous trip from customer(s) to customer(s). Oh My… ! I wonder what is this Bike Messenger delivering ?).

    *****

    “Naughty Bi Nature” ? It sounds so good… Someone must have already thought about it* !

    * : yes, someone has. Creeps !

    *****

    Stop ?
    OK.

  • Cy says :

    The bondage movie: “Bound Bi Honor”
    The orgy flick: “Cheaper Bi the Dozen”
    The movie for medical fetishists: “Bi Appointment Only”
    Barely legal fare: “Saved Bi the Bell” (You know, Elizabeth Berkley did “Showgirls” and Screech has a sex tape. This could actually happen.)

  • Seth says :

    Buy More:
    The clerks at a wal-martish bi(g) box store chain service each other:
    WELCOME TO BUY MORE!

    Bi-lateral agreement:
    The hot and horny members of the United Nations show us that they can all get along!
    With Kofi Anonymous!

    Bicentennial:
    It’s that 70s orgy… 1976 and everyone is doing everyone… lots of red white and blue, but no blue balls.

    Magnum B.I.
    Your favorite hawaiian shirted detective with the porn mustache takes on not only Higgens but all the beautiful babes too!

  • Jimbo X says :

    Well, my all-time favorite porn title has long been the triple pun of “Bi ‘n’ Large.” But I believe there actually exists a movie with that title, so I unfortunately can’t take credit for it.

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