BY Irene Kaoru
March 4, 2008
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Ever wonder what Driver’s Education class would have been like had it been taught by the Christian Conservatives currently giving our kids their sex education? McSweeney’s imagines it.

Please note the other poster, above the door there: DON’T WANT TO DIE? DON’T TRY TO DRIVE. It’s just that simple.

Fear not, kids: there’s a time in your life when driving a car will cease to be an evil and disgusting shame-riddled experience. That happens after you’re married. My husband got me a Corvette for our anniversary. How sweet is that? And take it from ME: NO premarital driving could ever have felt as good as the driving my husband and I do together.

Remember this handy little slogan: “No ring on your finger, no hand on the shifter.”
Maybe it made more sense in Australia, sure. But the sentiment still holds!

Now some of you may wonder if it’s OK to drive when you’re a legal adult yet still unmarried. Sure, it’s “not illegal” to drive when you’re 18. It’s also “not illegal” to drive a car at 17, 16, or even 15 if you are so unlucky as to have some of those horrifically overpermissive parents. But that doesn’t make it morally right.

ABSTINENCE-ONLY DRIVER’S ED by Suzanne Kleid
(Hat tip, Feministe!)

[Photo by niteseeker]