BY Richard Blakeley
April 1, 2008
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Why are you so nervous about that sex tape your ex still has of you? What makes you think people want to see it? You’re not rich nor famous — and you don’t have a proper lighting kit, or even a friend who helped you keep a steady shot. Chances are you can’t even make out that it’s even you to begin with because it was shot on that old crappy cellphone. Remember how drunk you two were? Oh man, those were some crazy times for sure!

Your ex probably has no intention of doing anything with it anyway, except maybe pull it out every once and awhile and rub one out so that they can get to sleep. Even when that happens they’re only wishing they still had you all to themselves, and guess what? They can’t. So you win yet another post breakup battle. Go you!

In short: I encourage you to relax and shoot away. I also suggest uploading it to YouPorn or any number of popular video sharing sites. I promise I won’t let anyone know it’s you… it’ll be our little secret.