Some ads on Craigslist are so ridiculous that you have to wonder who in their right mind would ever reply to them. The following ad is from a middle aged man looking for a female roommate on the Upper East Side. Oh, and in case you were in doubt: this is NOT a sex ad. Yeah right, buddy.
Even though he clearly states that this is NOT a sex ad, he’s pretty serious about men not sleeping over… for some reason. And don’t even try to make the excuse that they’re “just crashing” — he fell for that one before and he’s not going to get burned again. And, FYI? He’s still recovering from old injuries in sports, etc. — but don’t worry, it’s not noticeable and requires no care at all on your part.
Is that too much information for you? Not yet? Well, there’s also one very crucial caveat. He owns a standard black female poodle — so dog lovers only! And, p.s., you’re required to brush her daily and keep her crumbs from remaining on floor for long periods.
But worry not, ladies, at the interview you’ll see that the situation is most desirable. Party animals need not apply.
[Ed. $775 to live on the Upper East Side? I'd hit that!]
-
What is Boinkology?
Insightful analysis of sex, relationships, dating - and everything in between.
-
Most Discussed:
The Ladies Of Liberty City
Does The World Need More Porn For Straight Women?
Gentlemen Prefer A Size 12
Attention WalMart Shoppers, Masturbation Is Not Allowed On the Premises
The Case Of Facials Vs. Butt Sex
What's The Least Sexy Word For Penis?
Woman Has A Baby With Her Own Father
Contest: Bi Any Other Name
Girls With Tattoos = Guaranteed Butt Sex?
Cleanshaven Men Get More Play
RSS
Comments
Well, it’s a reddit tradition to copy paste craigslist links that aren’t in best of to the comments before someone inevitably flags it as spam, so here we go.
$775 PRIVATE ROOM & BATH-24 HR DOORMAN PK AVE (Upper East Side) (map)
Must be dog lover. Gentleman prefers mature, educated female who needs much home study or work time (without exception or dishonesty). I.E. grad student, designer, work at home employee. Interested individual will have private quiet home time. High speed cable, internet, a/c, TV, own bath in room. If you are a serious person looking for living quarters, make serious note that this is NOT a sex ad. Photos (optional, of course) and checkable references (required) always help and get my attention and priority. You will find this home a very safe; doorman bldg on Park Ave. Burglar Alarm has never gone off in 15 years and NO incidents to my knowledge in 38 years. I am interested in an honorable plus, because I would like to travel again and I want one who is neat, spotlessly clean and respecting of property. I am Serious about Men not sleeping here and about cleanliness in room and Kitchen. No crumbs and cooking grease on floors and tables or all over stove, including spattering on nearby kitchen appliances while cooking. Again, “No sleep over” or crashing “friends” here, no parties here-take all that outside, without being a “Party Animal” strolling in at all hours of the morning. Loud Music and Cell Phone addicts are not welcome. No smoking. Personally, I am still recovering from old injuries in Sports, Etc. It is not noticeable and requires no care at all on your part. One very crucial caveat: I have a standard Black female poodle. Must be a dog lover and you are required to brush her daily and keep her crumbs from remaining on floor for long periods. You will weigh, boil her chicken in a “sandwich” type bag (for freezing) about once a month). Some easy light dinners for me would be great. Nothing gourmet, just healthy. Hand Vac her treat and hard food crumbs, check water and other hard food, thus why the extremely LOW Park Ave rent. I do have a housekeeper 2 days per week, however she will not pick up after you who must keep kitchen and your room neat and clean. Perfectly normal and considerate I believe.
I am med school educated in prosthetics/ scoliosis orthopedic correction. $775 Security only. I hope this is sufficient. Thanks for reading this. Give me time to get to you please, many responses expected. I take this very seriously and I know you do as well. Three checkable references a must. I look to Craig’s list to secure the finest person seeking clean, safe housing in New York City. Thanks again and move in flexible. One Year Min. At interview, you will se that the situation is most desirable. No walking dog, have walkers. \PS: Standard Poodle is Non Allergenic and NEVER sheds. Incredibly soft disposition. FYI: Intense Ad since some others clearly misrepresented themselves, which I will not tolerate. A must see situation that you will love. Photos to serious only. Please re-read so you have a clear understanding. Sounds harsh, but really not. If you spend an hr a day that would be maybe overkill. OH she may sleep on your bed at times, but gets off when you retire.
http://images.craigslist.org/01011201151201031220080411d8fe2a98a7aa752faf00965b.jpg
April 12th, 2008 at 10:43 pmhttp://images.craigslist.org/01011101020001030020080411fe1ad6e71e7e2a493000d978.jpg
http://images.craigslist.org/010102010300010405200804118eed247e9b8cf7bd0b00b308.jpg
http://images.craigslist.org/01150701030701040120080411ef84bb16403fbd9cf9000459.jpg
Based on the ad, I’d say this is an international student (sounds like Middle Eastern or Asian) who wants a “wife” – a student like him, but quiet and clean, at home as much as possible, who cooks, cleans, and takes care of the dog. I actually wouldn’t be surprised if he meant that this wasn’t a sex ad. The detail in this makes me think he just dropped a bad “wife,” and wants to make sure it doesn’t happen again.
April 13th, 2008 at 8:48 amI dunno, he says he’s lived there 38 years, which seems odd for a student.
There are a lot of old people who look for college student roommates in New York, my guess is that it’s more something like that.
April 13th, 2008 at 9:02 amcall me crazy, but something about only showing pictures of your bed says “sex ad” to me.
April 13th, 2008 at 11:18 amDudes, y’all got sex on the brain. Or maybe I’m naive. Probably both. But he only says there’s been no incidents in the building for 38 years; that doesn’t mean he’s been there that whole time. And I took the photos to be of the private room and its furnishings. Every angle to show the different parts of the room, and the bed takes up quite a bit of that space.
And wow, is $775 is cheap for a room in that area? My 2,000 square foot 3 bedroom home is substantially less than that. ‘Course I live in the Midwest. But how could a student afford that? Craziness.
If sex is implied in addition to the cooking and cleaning and dog care, I would expect to be living there for free.
April 13th, 2008 at 11:29 amI’m with LUX on the old person assumption, but I’m also with ANOMIE on this not necessarily being a sex ad.
Is the person weird and OCD-compulsive? Yes.
Would he be a nightmare to live with? Definitely.
But I’m not getting a straight-up “I want sex” vibe; maybe something weird like peeping through the bathroom keyhole or rifling through the underwear drawer, but not looking for sex explicitly, at least not in the way the dude Lux visited a few months ago was.
Still this sounds freaky in all kinds of different ways, even if it isn’t a sex ad.
April 13th, 2008 at 6:53 pmXorn:
Welcome to the world of Manhattan real estate.
April 13th, 2008 at 8:02 pmLeave a reply :