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April 28, 2008
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To Be Young, Gay, And Married.

When gay marriage was legalized in Massachusetts, we saw story after story of older gay couples who — after decades together — were finally able to have their love legally recognized. Which was lovely: our feelings on marriage aside, it’s wonderful to see gay couples, particularly ones who’ve devoted so much of their lives together, afforded the same respect and benefits as their heterosexual counterparts.

But what of the young gay couples? Were they taking advantage of their new rights? And if they were, what did their relationships (and weddings) look like? If you’ve spent the past four years waiting for an answer to that question, take heart. The New York Times published a piece on what it means to be young, gay, and married in America today.

The piece is fascinating, and a good read, but — skeptical as we are about young marrieds, period (regardless of sexual orientation) — we found ourselves nodding along to the words of Dan Savage:

Dan Savage, the sex-advice columnist, told me he worried that some young gay men in Massachusetts might rush into marriage as a way to have their relationships validated by their families. “Once, our relationships were only respected if we had remained together for a long, long time,” Savage said. “Only longevity earned us some modicum of respect. Straight couples could always rush that validity by getting married. Now I just worry that some gay kids, desperate to have their gay love taken seriously, will wield their new marriage licenses and say: ‘See how real our love is? We’ve only been together five months, but we’re already married. You better respect us now!’ ”

Only time will tell, kids.

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