BY Richard Blakeley
April 30, 2008
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These days, simply declaring yourself “in a relationship” on Facebook adds another layer of complexity when you finally breakup. In many cases, it’s best to just not say anything about your relationship on the internet at all — but maybe you shouldn’t say anything to your partner in real life, either.

It sounds crazy, but hear me out. In a day and age where people are constantly only dating for a few weeks with little commitment and then moving on, is it really best to always tell your partner how you feel about them? You yourself know how you feel, and if you throw yourself out there too soon you’re just setting yourself up for potential rejection. And anyway, most of the time, actions speak louder than words. Example: a girl who all of a sudden becomes “busy” for a couple weeks at a time without seeing you is probably saying she needs a break and doesn’t want your current fooling around to turn into a relationship.

And that’s not the only sign. Do they call you frequently? Or email? Or are they aloof about plans and seem to only call you at the last moment?

While I’m all for an open dialogue with your partner, sometimes it’s best to hold off on telling them how you feel until you know that those feelings will be reciprocated. So hold off telling anyone you like them until you know they’ll be fine with telling you back, don’t rush into things and get in over your head or else you may scare them off. You have no idea what kind of emotional baggage someone is bringing into your relationship with them, and they may have a fear of commitment or think that you’re only saying what you think they want to hear.

If things are meant to be, then it will all work out eventually. Usually the first three months of a relationship are the best. You’re getting to know the person both mentally and physically — so leave the talking for the boring part starting at about five months in.

The last thing you want to do is say too much too soon and turn out like Lloyd Dobler.