May 8, 2008
Tips For What To Talk About On A First Date

Years of dating have taught me that some things are best left unsaid. But when you’re on a first date, you have to talk about something. Here are some tips I’ve picked up over the years about what you can talk about — and what you shouldn’t — on a first date.

Be Prepared:
If you know their name, try to find their blog, MySpace, or Facebook profile to get a better idea of who they are. Maybe they like the same bands as you do — and, oh look, you just happened to wear that bands t-shirt to your first date! What a coincidence! Now you have something to talk about!

Be careful not to mention too many details about what they have said online or they may think you’re a creepy stalker. Which, frankly, you very well may be — but they don’t need to know that quite yet. Leave that for your wedding night.

Turn Off Your Freakin’ Phone:
There’s nothing more annoying than being in the middle of a conversation and having the other person stop you to answer a text or a phone call. Especially if you’re in the middle of a date. Unless you’re a doctor on call there’s no reason to even have your phone on at all. If you’re worried that your date may be a murderer, it’s okay keep your phone on — but at the very least, don’t constantly check for texts. And whatever you do, don’t answer it and start blabbing away. It can wait, whatever it is.

Keep It Light:
Stick to light subjects. Recent books you’ve read, movies you’ve seen, parties you’ve gone to. Nobody wants to hear your life story on a first date. People are turned on by someone who is doing something outside normal life: maybe you’re in a band or you enjoy the outdoors or you knit — whatever it is, people like it when others have hobbies and skills.

Don’t Brag:
It’s one thing to have mad skillz. It’s another to go on and on about them. You already know who you are, so give the other person a chance to talk every once and a while. If their eyes start to wander around the room, you’ve lost them and it’s their turn to talk.

Don’t Interrupt:
No matter how badly you want to interrupt, don’t do it. Stay cool and wait till your date has finished talking. You can practice this by not interrupting people in your non-dating life.

She Has Eyes, Look Into Them:
For those who date the ladies: nothing says you’re paying attention more than looking into her eyes. And whatever you do, don’t stare at her boobs all night. If everything goes well you’ll have plenty of chances to look at those later.

Keep It Positive:
The most important thing on a first date: keep it positive. Nobody wants to be with a Debbie Downer. If you have to talk about your childhood, stick to the fun parts. If you have to talk about work, talk about the good parts.

The Today Show recently featured this metrosexual Jersey looking douchebag, who had some great pointers for a first date. Keep it positive, people! Listen and learn:

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  • Isil says :

    Tips on what to listen to are not to be forgotten.

    Former relationships, weird fetiches, conspiracy theories, etc

  • Richard Blakeley says :

    ISIL: I would love it if you wrote that post…

  • Isil says :

    Tempting little machiavelic devil.

  • Nuno says :

    If you needed years of “first dating”… I’d say; maybe you’re not the best one to turn to if one is in need of direccion. Wouldn’t you say Richard? LOL
    (kiding…just not the best start for the article if you’re trying to reach those with problems in this field)

  • Richard Blakeley says :

    NUNO: Who says that most people are looking for a long term relationship? What is wrong with just dating someone for a few weeks and then moving on? This isn’t about how to get a girlfriend after all, it’s just about first dates… if you’re end goal is to get in a relationship with this person that’s cool too but this advice is simply for people who would to see that second date happen. Which is important too if you’re looking to get into a relationship!

    I know you’re joking but in all seriousness it depends on what your end game is, and yes, years of first dates do make me somewhat of an expert on the subject matter.

  • Nuno says :

    I’m glad you didn’t take it seriously!

    The thing was… the discution was too calm and serious. I just wanted to shake it a little bit.

    Yesterday was my “first time” in “boinkology”. I have to look for articles on “first time web page visiting”! lolol

  • Richard Blakeley says :

    NUNO: I only responded because I was worried another first time person would come along and not know you were joking as you clearly were. So I could see someone being like, yeah, I’m no reading this because he must suck if he’s been on so many first dates, etc.

    We’re glad to have you here and we hope you stick around!

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Monica Shores