Reader Submitted
May 8, 2008
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SUBMITTED BY TWENTYSOMETHING TALES: I recently had a rather frank discussion about dating and relationships with a pseudo-ex of mine. (I say pseudo because we called it quits right before we got to the point where we would have actually been “going out”).

After some prodding on my part about why it ended (“You just got bored. You should have said so and not left me in the dark”), he pulled the “No, it’s not you it’s me card.” This, I said, had to be complete bull. He struggled to explain his logic, but with my help, I think we actually arrived at a pretty enlightening find (at least for me, as a girl).

Decisions. Boys do not like to make decisions. Girls want them made. So when they reach the rift in between “dating” and “relationship,” even if they like the girl, they don’t want to be bothered with saying one thing or another.

It’s not just bigger issues like this. I started to realize that decision making (or lack thereof) was a very big theme in my guy interactions. Why didn’t he ever want to make plans, even if it was for something casual? That would require making a decision, saying yes to someone, and potentially saying no to someone else.

True, it seems obvious now. But looking back, I would have never thought that not getting him to make plans was about just not wanting to deal. In my book, this necessitated in-depth analysis — Does he not like me any more? Was our sex last night bad? Did I look ugly the last time I saw him?

I think I might decide not to date anymore.

[Photo by skycaptaintwo]