May 9, 2008
What Do Table Skirts Have To Do With Sex?

SUBMITTED BY ANOMIE:Here’s an interesting fact: Did you know table skirts were invented to prevent any “unnatural” unions between men and furniture?

This is because legs (limbs in general?) were considered to be so sexy that men just couldn’t resist. Even if the leg was wooden and connected to a tabletop. Oooh baby.

But have we really changed that much since the Victorian Era? After all, under the current administration women are required to wear pantyhose. Well, at least we’re directing our attention to human legs, now.

Or are we? Anyone know whether Bush also covered all the tables with skirts?

On the bright side, Bush the First made women wear knee-length skirts and pantyhose. At least Junior’s administration allows pants. Just as long as them legs are covered, right?

I am reminded of a movie (what was that movie?) in which a man walks in on a topless woman from another culture. In his culture, breasts are quite sexually arousing. In her culture, backs are. She freaks out and hides her back, exposing her breasts in the process. The man is pleased, albeit confused.

I am also reminded of the time my daughter, upon being seen in nothing but her undies, ripped the undies off in horror and flung them aside. Because nobody was supposed to see her underwear.

How much does time and space influence that which we find arousing? Even our sexualities – something many like to say is completely innate – are influenced by culture. Do you really think it’s a coincidence that

1. women are so completely sexualized in our society (especially in the media)


2. there are far more self-identified bisexual women than there are bisexual men?

Just sayin’.

Hey – get away from that table leg! Damn perverts.

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Lux Alptraum
Monica Shores