
SUBMITTED BY TWENTYSOMETHING TALES: Recently, I’ve taken to eating out for dinner 4-5 nights of the week. Approximately two out of every five evenings, I’ve started dining alone.
At first, this was anxiety-provoking. I felt I was playing Miranda in a Sex and the City episode, when the first few times, the hostess would ask, “Is it just you?” And, grinning through my teeth, I’d annoyingly say, “Yup. Juuuust me.” To the person dining, it feels like all eyes are on you, every couple or group thinking, “How pathetic. That girl just screams single.” Or, “What? Is she looking for someone to join her? That’s lame.”
I’ve finally become more comfortable with this, although, a lot of it has to do with finding the right restaurant to accommodate solo diners. Thus far, I find that the least awkward places to eat have been Epistrophy in Nolita, Le Pain Quotidien (Gramercy location), Union Square Coffee Shop (although not at busy hours), and the bar at Bread.
Last night was the first time I found myself dining alone outside, and the experience was, in a word, horrifying. After sweating it out at the gym, I headed down Irving, and decided to eat outside at Choshi Sushi.
There I was, in spandex and hulking running shoes, hair glued to my head from sweat, trying to enjoy my cheap glass of pinot grigio, but couldn’t because, every few minutes, cat calls from passing guys:
“Hey lady! Where’s your boyfriend?”
“Why are you eating alone, gorgeous?”
“Can I eat your sushi?”
Maybe I was asking for it by eating at a sushi restaurant. But at the same time, really? I hate, hate, hate it when skeezy men say stuff to women like this on the street. What do they expect for me to say in response to “Looking hotttt!” Do they expect me to stop and chat them up? I think not.
Check, please.
[Photo by thekidsmakeout]
Comments
I dont think they expect anything of you, they are just enjoying their so called “power”.
They can and will remind you you are just an object to be fiddled with, which makes them feel goood (god knows why and how they are feeling bad or insecure).
Keep eating out alone, enjoying yourself, if you cant be alone and have a good time you ll end up dating one of those morons soon enough.
June 17th, 2008 at 12:27 pmman, i hope that those jerks don’t make you feel bad eating alone. it wasn’t that they picked on you because you were alone, it’s just that that is what they had to use against you. i’ve been bothered while outside eating not alone, they just find some other reason.
i think the ‘eating alone’ taboo is really weird, honestly. which makes that there was a sex and the city about it make sense to me, since that show was all about people being uncomfortable about things it never occurred to me to be uncomfortable about (like farting in front of a lover). i’ve been eating alone without worry about whether people think i have a partner for decades! new york is full of people eating alone. makes more sense then cooking for yourself. and man, even if you were happily married for 40 years, wouldn’t you sometimes still be eating alone? i mean, people in relationships aren’t constantly together.
but honestly, i don’t think eating alone had anything to do with assrags harassing you. they would have found a way to harass you either way and that is their problem, not yours.
June 17th, 2008 at 8:58 pm[...] horrors of eating [...]
June 19th, 2008 at 12:49 pmMy advice if you eat alone - eat at the bar. It’s a social environment. You can chat up the other bar patrons, or the bartender. You can stare at the TV.
I’d be THRILLED if more women ate alone at the bar. I’m a single dad and do it fairly often, and I’ve met some great woman that way.
Recently I ate at a bar with my 12 year old son with me. Wouldn’t you know, a woman came and sat by herself very close to me. Chat her up in front of my son? Hmmm… http://dadshouseblog.com/2008/06/20/how-to-pick-up-a-woman-in-front-of-your-son/
June 20th, 2008 at 2:42 pmLeave a reply :