Reader Submitted
July 23, 2008
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SUBMITTED BY ANOMIE: Jesus saves through hooking up with cute heathen guys!…but just the cute ones, mind you. The rest of you have nothing to be worried about.

This intriguing website features the self-described hot Tamara explaining how female Christians–specifically, those blessed with beauty–can use this divine gift to convert their hot heathen brethren…through the magic of dating.

Although this site is quite marvelous, I was left with a few burning questions. For example, Tamara states that:

“Romans 12:1 says “to offer your bodies as living sacrifices.” Since our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor. 6:19), it makes sense that we should use our beautiful bodies to glorify HIS name, the Holy Spirit will work the strongest since He’s in our body, right? That’s the best position to be in!”

I completely agree, and feel inspired to do God’s work. But what, pray tell, would be the best position for allowing these attractive males entry into my beautiful body, where the Holy Spirit awaits discovery? Where is the door to my temple? And should I allowed entry through the back door for those who’d prefer?

Tamara also offers 10 Christian dating tips for effective missionary dating (well, I guess that answers the position question!). Most of these are pretty clear-cut. However, I am still a bit unclear on one aspect of #5:

“If he reaches his arm around you, tell him nobody will ever be as close to you as Jesus is (or ask him if you instead could “lay hands” on him in prayer).”

I’m left wondering: On which part of his body, precisely, should I lay my hands? I just want to be certain that my hand-laying inspires him to call out to God.

[Photo by thomashawk, Via]