July 24, 2008
What If The Bachelorette Were Polyamorous?

Polyamory on television shows is a rare occurrence. With the exception of “Big Love” (where everyone is Mormon) and “The Girls Next Door” (which is, well, Hugh Hefner), there aren’t many shows where people have multiple partners.

Unless, of course, you count shows like “The Bachelorette,” where one person is faced with multiple suitors, all trying to win that person’s affection — and where, more often than not, that one person finds him or herself developing feelings for, or even falling in love with, more than one person at the same time.

Of course, as Tristan Taormino points out, cultural standards won’t let the bachelorette (or any of her peers) stay in this multiple partner limbo: ultimately, she’s forced to choose “the one,” and ride off into the sunset happily — and monogamously — ever after.

But what if things got switched up a little, and she was allowed to stay with more than one? Sure, it’s probably never going to happen — but at least it’d be a break from the formula.

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FILED UNDER : , , Tristan Taormino


  • Arianna says :

    Either way, I really don’t like the Bachelorette. As if these men can ALL REALLY fall in love with her in, like, six or eight weeks.

    I’m not saying it’s not possible, I’m saying it’s far fetched.

  • Sarah says :

    I agree with Arianna… shows like that make it seem as if love, a complex and highly subjective emotion, can be manufactured or broken down into an exact science. Reality TV is silly!

  • Kyle says :

    Its not totally true Sarah that love can’t be broken down by science but you are right that its no exact. On a very rough average humans don’t experience true love with some one until 3 to 4 months after meeting and starting a relationship with that person. In the time leading up to that the brain is flooded with hormone’s that more or less generate feelings of lust and passion (often confused with love). After this first phase the hormone’s dry up and the emotions move deeper into the brain bringing on the true feeling of love. This is why a high percentage of relationships break up in about 6 months and why I believe 99% of these Reality TV match making shows have failed(the relationship after wards I mean) people are in it for 15 min of fame most of the time and are not really experiencing love for the other person. Yes Reality TV is very silly. :)

  • Ruth @ Explorers Blog says :

    Boinkology is a fan of poly relationships, from the looks of it! First Will Smith & Jada (to which I suggested people look at Tilda Swinton), now “reality” TV.

  • Lux Alptraum says :


    We’re fans of healthy relationships with open communication — be they poly, monogamous, or somewhere in between.

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Lux Alptraum
Monica Shores