BY
July 31, 2008
18,026 views
29 Comments
What’s The Least Sexy Word For Penis?

In his latest column, Boinkology hero Dan Savage challenges readers to come up with the least sexy word for penis. Okay, it’s not so much a challenge as a one off comment, but we’re still intrigued:

If there’s a less sexy description for penis than the word “penis,” Jeff, I can’t think of it. The words “vagina,” “labia,” and “clitoris”—with their wide-open vowels and consonant combinations that force you to roll the words around in your mouth—are poetry compared to “penis,” with its pinched, urine-invoking first syllable and its hissed second. Again, I very much doubt that anyone can come up with something less sexy. But anyone inspired to try is welcome to cram one in my inbox.

Much as we admire Dan, we have to disagree: there are definitely words for penis that are less sexy than, well, penis. And we’re going to offer a prize to whoever comes up with the worst word of all.

Ready, set, go! (Entries must be in the comments of this post, and must be received by Friday, August 8.)

[Photo by cimorenegal]

These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages.
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • Google
  • Reddit
  • StumbleUpon
  • Technorati
  • TwitThis
FILED UNDER : Contest

Comments

  • Jeremy M says :

    Putz. Literally the yiddish word for penis.

    What do I win?

    Also, least sexy word for an otherwise sexy body part: thigh.

  • Cristina says :

    pee-pee

  • Castanheira says :

    Dong! Reminds me of a floppy thing.

  • Isil says :

    Tool

  • M says :

    Winkle. It can’t get more emasculating than that.

  • cardsharques says :

    main vein

  • Enamor says :

    Spunk dribbler.

    Yes people call it that. I cannot begin to understand why.

  • that guy says :

    Purple headed yogurt slinger

  • secondlastwish says :

    Main vein grosses me out - it makes me think of blood draws and IV drug users.

    Weenie is my submission.

  • Luke says :

    Pork sword, one eyed trouser snake …

  • Jeremy says :

    I was going to go with pecnoster, but I think “worm” is the worst. Is anything less sexy than a slimy invertebrate?

  • margaret says :

    ding-ding.

  • Adam says :

    Wiener makes me think of elementary school.

  • Marc says :

    Phalus. Medical terms have ZERO sex appeal.

  • Riona says :

    Wanzor.

  • Tash says :

    When I was little, our family used the word Pinny.
    Evokes images of a small, pink baby marsupial curled up and wrinkly doesn’t it?

  • Dave says :

    The prize has to go to one of the words/phrases used by little boys for the penis, like:

    ding-a-ling
    dinker
    ding-dong

    They are all as bad as penis in the way they sound. But also because they are pretty much used only by very young boys, I just have this feeling that only someone with pedophile tendancies could possibly be turned on by them. You can’t get more un-sexy than that!

  • john says :

    Danny Aielo.

  • Irene Kaoru says :

    Sausage. Salami. Equating the phallus to an edible meat product repulses me every time.

  • the boy says :

    Smegma Hydrant.

    That’s one we came up with at UU church camp!

  • wetdove says :

    Every time I hear someone call it “junk” it makes me wrinkle my nose a bit.

  • secondlastwish says :

    i love junk! it’s such a nice little word that encompasses so much stuff. and it’s gender neutral.

    danny aielo - i’m using that.

  • Kale says :

    Baloney pony.

  • Chucklebutt says :

    Wee wee. Some of those are bad, but most are funny if not sexy. Actually, most words for penis are not sexy to me. Cock, dick, purple-helmeted warrior and love gun, are the only sexy ones to me. However, worst, least sexy is wee-wee because it doesn’t just imply small size, but an infantile aura. That’s what you call a baby penis. I maet a girl who had a small son and she called mine a wee-wee. Very quicky, pretty much after I came, she was bye-bye, forever.

  • Meeshell says :

    meat whistle

  • Suzanne Fremosi says :

    You said it best….Cram

    I was sitting next to him at the movies, as I reached for some popcorn,I had to dig down, then I felt it, it was his Cram!

  • Craigybaby says :

    i think cock is a nasty word - equates the penis to a male chicken and im sure that no one gay or straight wants a chicken pecking and biting at them - be it at their front or back doors. the word cock brings up images of bloody wounds from being pecked and bitten to shreds, even the sound of the word is short and sweet - something no man wants his penis even remotely thought of as being.

    In Glasgow people use the slang boaby (bow bee) and this amuses me when i hear it.

  • chaz says :

    Crank, as in yank my crank.

  • Allison says :

    pecker… a guy said “milk my pecker” once like 2 years ago and I’m still trying to recover from how fast I went from turned on to grossed out

Leave a reply :

SUBSCRIPTION:
RSS
Comments RSS
BOINKOLOGY IS:
Editor:
Lux Alptraum
Contributors:
Garrett
Monica Shores
© 2015 BOINKOLOGY