In his latest column, Boinkology hero Dan Savage challenges readers to come up with the least sexy word for penis. Okay, it’s not so much a challenge as a one off comment, but we’re still intrigued:
If there’s a less sexy description for penis than the word “penis,” Jeff, I can’t think of it. The words “vagina,” “labia,” and “clitoris”—with their wide-open vowels and consonant combinations that force you to roll the words around in your mouth—are poetry compared to “penis,” with its pinched, urine-invoking first syllable and its hissed second. Again, I very much doubt that anyone can come up with something less sexy. But anyone inspired to try is welcome to cram one in my inbox.
Much as we admire Dan, we have to disagree: there are definitely words for penis that are less sexy than, well, penis. And we’re going to offer a prize to whoever comes up with the worst word of all.
Ready, set, go! (Entries must be in the comments of this post, and must be received by Friday, August 8.)
[Photo by cimorenegal]
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Comments
Putz. Literally the yiddish word for penis.
What do I win?
Also, least sexy word for an otherwise sexy body part: thigh.
July 31st, 2008 at 8:30 ampee-pee
July 31st, 2008 at 8:35 amDong! Reminds me of a floppy thing.
July 31st, 2008 at 9:56 amTool
July 31st, 2008 at 11:09 amWinkle. It can’t get more emasculating than that.
July 31st, 2008 at 11:59 ammain vein
July 31st, 2008 at 12:24 pmSpunk dribbler.
Yes people call it that. I cannot begin to understand why.
July 31st, 2008 at 1:37 pmPurple headed yogurt slinger
July 31st, 2008 at 2:46 pmMain vein grosses me out – it makes me think of blood draws and IV drug users.
Weenie is my submission.
July 31st, 2008 at 7:46 pmPork sword, one eyed trouser snake …
July 31st, 2008 at 8:53 pmI was going to go with pecnoster, but I think “worm” is the worst. Is anything less sexy than a slimy invertebrate?
July 31st, 2008 at 11:24 pmding-ding.
August 2nd, 2008 at 2:03 amWiener makes me think of elementary school.
August 2nd, 2008 at 11:54 amPhalus. Medical terms have ZERO sex appeal.
August 3rd, 2008 at 1:27 amWanzor.
August 3rd, 2008 at 3:09 amWhen I was little, our family used the word Pinny.
August 4th, 2008 at 4:48 amEvokes images of a small, pink baby marsupial curled up and wrinkly doesn’t it?
The prize has to go to one of the words/phrases used by little boys for the penis, like:
ding-a-ling
dinker
ding-dong
They are all as bad as penis in the way they sound. But also because they are pretty much used only by very young boys, I just have this feeling that only someone with pedophile tendancies could possibly be turned on by them. You can’t get more un-sexy than that!
August 4th, 2008 at 7:30 pmDanny Aielo.
August 4th, 2008 at 11:13 pmSausage. Salami. Equating the phallus to an edible meat product repulses me every time.
August 5th, 2008 at 11:43 amSmegma Hydrant.
That’s one we came up with at UU church camp!
August 5th, 2008 at 2:49 pmEvery time I hear someone call it “junk” it makes me wrinkle my nose a bit.
August 5th, 2008 at 3:28 pmi love junk! it’s such a nice little word that encompasses so much stuff. and it’s gender neutral.
danny aielo – i’m using that.
August 5th, 2008 at 8:31 pmBaloney pony.
August 7th, 2008 at 11:50 pmWee wee. Some of those are bad, but most are funny if not sexy. Actually, most words for penis are not sexy to me. Cock, dick, purple-helmeted warrior and love gun, are the only sexy ones to me. However, worst, least sexy is wee-wee because it doesn’t just imply small size, but an infantile aura. That’s what you call a baby penis. I maet a girl who had a small son and she called mine a wee-wee. Very quicky, pretty much after I came, she was bye-bye, forever.
January 23rd, 2009 at 11:37 ammeat whistle
January 25th, 2009 at 4:21 amYou said it best….Cram
I was sitting next to him at the movies, as I reached for some popcorn,I had to dig down, then I felt it, it was his Cram!
January 25th, 2009 at 2:06 pmi think cock is a nasty word – equates the penis to a male chicken and im sure that no one gay or straight wants a chicken pecking and biting at them – be it at their front or back doors. the word cock brings up images of bloody wounds from being pecked and bitten to shreds, even the sound of the word is short and sweet – something no man wants his penis even remotely thought of as being.
In Glasgow people use the slang boaby (bow bee) and this amuses me when i hear it.
February 3rd, 2009 at 6:38 amCrank, as in yank my crank.
February 7th, 2009 at 1:04 ampecker… a guy said “milk my pecker” once like 2 years ago and I’m still trying to recover from how fast I went from turned on to grossed out
March 19th, 2009 at 12:00 pmLeave a reply :