August 15, 2008
DADD : Dating Attention Deficit Disorder

SUBMITTED BY SOUPSOUP: In the age of hooking up via social networking, one has so many more options available to them than in years gone by. The assumed motives of the kind you find at sites like and the more clandestine form that takes place on Facebook, mySpace and Tumblr, one can develop a form of dating attention deficit disorder. Has the web turned us into a generation incapable of having a long enough attention span to develop a monogamous relationship?

One may argue that human nature is inclined to seek out many partners until our biological urges are satisfied. Typically men never grow out of this thrill of the hunt while women tend to settle down once they find a mate who they think can build and mantain a safe nest for them.

Many of today’s sexually liberated women will argue that my last statement is utter horseshit and they may be right, especially considering how many of them today typically date in the same numbers that men do, given that they no longer have to deal with being hit on by countless drunk men in bars, and can pick and choose their dates from the comfort of their own home.

Women and men are less likely to settle for a mate as quickly with so many more options available to them. Is this the case or are they spoiled by not having to deal with the pressures of dealing with a serious partner?

Is it convienience, lust, or simply elevated standards that has caused this new phenomenon created by our new catalog culture of dating. It seems that it could be any one of these reasons or a combination depending on the individual, but the fact remains that our collective DADD doesn’t appear to have a cure anytime soon, as the number of folks joining the party continues to grow, as do their options exponentially.

[Photo by seemysight]

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  • All_Sasha says :

    I couldn’t agree with you more, and I love the acronym you’ve coined. I have been doing interviews with women over the past year about their online dating and hooking up experiences. A recurrent theme in the interviewers is a “grass is always greener” mentality that people increasingly are experiencing. At this point, I’m convinced that dating sites are not set up to help you find your “match” per se…but to keep you hooked onto them by offering a sort of of dating - ie “like this profile…if so, you might like these 5 others.” Helping to ensure that we know our options have grown exponentially for sure.

  • Heidi Rodeo says :

    As a 40 year old female who wants to nest and settle down, I find your analysis both disheartening and likely true in many respects. I have never used any of the social networking groups to try and “hook up” I’m not that internet savvy yet but have relied on the old faithfuls for a long time now to no avail.

    I am finding the process of pulling a complete stranger out of thin air into a full life is just simply daunting. Maybe it’s not so much a question of attention deficit as time and space management. Everyone wants everyone to have a full life now days and it’s really difficult for two individuals who’s lives are so full to make room for eachother.

  • Rachel says :

    Once you are in a relationship, e-messaging (text, chat, e-mail) makes emotional cheating that much easier to slip into. It’s not like you’re CALLING your ex or crush…

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Monica Shores