August 18, 2008
Breaking Up In Public: Noble Or Pathetic?

If we thought the whole Jakob And Julia debacle had taught us all a thing or two about dating — or at least breaking up — in public… well, it seems we thought wrong. As evidenced by the latest drama to splash its way across our Tumblr dashboards, people are still breaking up in public — and yes, it’s still ugly.

We’ll spare you (most of) the details of this drama, because we’re really only interested in one part of it — a debate that seems to have arisen between the two parties (okay, Nick Douglas and Melissa Gira) about how one should conduct themselves during this kind of public fall out.

Exhibit A, Nick’s statement:

While I’m disappointed
in the way two women have chosen to portray me (much more Melissa’s account of our sixth breakup than Chaya’s story, as I loved Melissa and we hurt each other deeply) I’ll let them speak for themselves. For my part, I won’t be dealing with this in public. We’ve seen what that can lead to: book deals.

Exhibit B, Melissa’s response to someone commending Nick for keeping out of the drama:

I’d argue it has little to do with character. It’s slinking away from the public eye that got him this attention in the first place when he knows he’s wrong. The problem with his behavior in relationships is the he acted much of it out in public — a sort of a public, his over-reliance on his online life to buoy an ego. And actually, all of us are at fault for that.

So what do you think, kids? Is putting it all out there a noble way of confronting the truth? Or is it (dare we say it?) oversharey?

Beyond that, we’d just like to add (without irony, we swear), that these two are, in part, responsible for the proposed SXSW panel, “Sex Lives of the Microfamous.”

[Photo by bored-now]

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  • Bryan says :

    I’m all for documenting the areas of life we typically choose to sweep under the rug, but only when it adds something new to the public discourse. Getting certain closed-door things out in the open is important. There are probably certain areas of this relationship – navigating an open relationship, for one – that deserve to be talked about. Other bits do seem, well, oversharey. To be honest, I don’t really want to have to picture Nick Douglas at an orgy ever again.

    Though if it makes entertaining reading for the rest of us, maybe that’s all that matters in the end.

  • Rex says :

    Their breakup is just a viral marketing scheme to get you to VOTE FOR MY PANEL!

  • Lux Alptraum says :


    Please tell me the Montauk Monster is somehow involved with this.

  • Bryan says :

    I should add though that controlling your own rumor mill is a valuable thing and makes for better reading than Page 6!

  • I don't have a name says :

    I think breaking up in public allows the next person to swoop right in. If I were a guy I’d want to say hi to Melissa right about now. 😉

  • I don't have a name says :

    I think breaking up in public is perfect for the next person who wants to swoop right in. If I were a guy I’d want to say hi to Melissa right about now. 😉

  • Lux Alptraum says :

    I don’t have a name:

    You wouldn’t worry about getting the same public dissing weeks/months/years down the line?

  • I don't have a name says :

    oops sorry for the dup.

    @lux, if she/he is worth it, then no i wouldn’t care.

  • G M says :

    Anybody talking about their “sixth breakup” needs to just shut the fuck up.

  • Kate says :

    Granted, I’m not as high profile as these individuals – but, as someone going through a Tech breakup I would be horrified if my ex (whom I love, that shit just doesn’t go away) decided to air the details of that online, compelling me to defend myself on my blog.

    Further – I have to say – if Douglas didn’t want to air the details in public he just wouldn’t say ANYTHING.

    Yucky, I feel bad for them both.

  • BOINKOLOGY | This Week In&hellip says :

    […] and Melissa break up in public. Then they debate the terms of publicly handling public break up drama. In public, of […]

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Lux Alptraum
Monica Shores