August 20, 2008
Your Definitive Guide To The Latest Fameball Breakup

Having trouble keeping track of the he said-she said, heavily Tumblred break up of Nick Douglas and Melissa Gira Grant? Since they haven’t had the courtesy to lump it all into one attention seeking website, a la Jakob and Julia, we’ve compiled it all here for you:

  • First sign of trouble in paradise: Melissa’s call to “invoice him.” Is Nick Douglas just another john? This is followed by a few thinly veiled posts (and, of course, twitters) mourning her relationship.
  • Other women start to speak up. Melissa responds.
  • Nick tries to defend himself.
  • Melissa responds again.
  • Another girl who fucked Nick Douglas chimes in. Melissa responds again.
  • Melissa posts to Valleywag about how Facebook has changed modern dating. Is this a dig at Douglas? “Unless they can somehow convince their current partner that really, talking about one’s relationship in public is only for cads and showoffs, and she’s gullible enough to agree.” Given how public the two have been about, well, everything… probably not.
  • Nick gets featured in Fake Sex Diaries. Is this the new sign that you’re really, truly a fameball? Also, is Nick 5’5″ or 5’6″? Inquiring minds want to know.

[Photo by Brian Solis, thought bubbles by Boinkology]

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  • Karen Rayne says :

    So pardon me for cracking up at this, but what are the implications for Melissa’s and Nick’s participation in the SXSW Interactive panel on blogging about your personal sex life?

    Proposed Panel Title: Sex Lives of the Microfamous

    And a description: What kind of person talks about their sex and dating life on the internet? Someone desperate for attention? Or someone who already has lots of it? For the microfamous, having a relationship in public is as much a potential career boost as it as a vulnerability.

    Here’s what Nick has to say about the proposed panel: While I’m hoping to talk on this panel, even an exhibitionist and unapologetic cad like me is afraid of how controversial it could get. Then again, it’d be pretty fun to be at next year’s version of the Julia Allison gossip panel of 2008.

    And here’s what Melissa has to say about it: A likely subtitle, were we allowed one: “Oversharing is a myth invented by good people to account for the curious attractiveness of others.” And more from the panel proposal: How is oversharing integral to microcelebrity? What’s the difference between having a life online and microcelebrity? Can microcelebrities only date each other? How do you stop the fameball — accelerating attention and fame — and maintain a private life when everyone thinks they know you? Is sharing your sex life with a fanbase ever worth it?

    And all of the Boinkology-approved links above have happened since Melissa’s and Nick’s comments on the SXSW panel. That panel may indeed be exactly what Nick was hoping for! Wheeee! Fun!

    And here’s the direct link to the SXSW Interactive Panel Picker info:

  • Wendy Blackheart says :

    Wait, I keep hearing about this? Who are these people? Why the fuck am I supposed to care they broke up on the internets? My high school boyfriend and I broke up on Live Journal in 2000 through 2002, and amazingly…no one cared.

  • Lux Alptraum says :

    I think we’d all be better off if no one cared. Feel free to skip right past this one.

  • secondlastwish says :

    I’m totally perplexed by this world too (kinda like Wendy above). Like…who are these people? Do you have to be a professional blogger/media person in New York or the Bay Area to get it? This is not a dig at the purveyors of Boinkology, but this kind of stuff is incredibly off of my radar. I’d love to hear your take about how this becomes something that people even notice or talk about.

    (Maybe this just says something about my own internet cool factor and how utterly blocked I am from everything at work.)

  • Karen Rayne says :

    While I can’t disagree that it’s not worth paying attention to - I do think it’s pretty funny that they’re hoping to be on a panel together talking about this very thing.

  • Lux Alptraum says :

    Secondlastwish: There’s definitely a circle of New York/Bay Area new media people who a) write for a living, b) write about themselves on the internet, c) write about each other (both for work and in their personal blogs) and d) assume that since they’re the media and it’s on the internet, everyone knows and cares.

    Personally, I think it’s funny/interesting to see how people live their lives on the internet. Especially when they’re planning on presenting a panel… about putting your relatinship on the internet (as Karen mentioned).

  • Richard Blakeley says :

    WENDY & SECONDLASTWISH: These people are public figures, no matter how small of a world they may live in. They work for the internet and their livelihoods depend on it. How will this affect their future relationships? Jobs? Etc.

    The point here is that we are quickly moving into a new age of dating and it’s going to be interesting to see how it all unfolds as more and more people are affected by things like this (myself included). And Boinkology will continue to be here to document this amazing clash of cyber/real-life dating troubles while providing our insightful analysis.

  • Rex says :

    Since a few people have asked about the panel on this site, I’ll add some historical context:

    + The panel was originally Melissa’s idea. She asked me if I would moderate… and DUH, this would be FUN.

    + The panel was submitted long before anything retarded showed up on Gawker about me. And of course before they broke up.

    + I’ve talked to them, separately, about whether they want to be on the panel. Both have expressed reservations. We’ll see what happens as it comes closer…

    + And finally: VOTE FOR IT! Seriously, behind all this fameball nonsense, there are serious questions about how breakups work when a micro-micro-micro audience can see it. Everyone has their Facebook status story, or their why-did-I-find-this-out-on-Flickr story. This is interesting stuff! And all the “microfame” aspect means is that a few dozen people can see it.

  • secondlastwish says :

    The internet makes me feel old.

    Thanks for the explanation Richard and Lux. I think it’s all interesting too, I just feel out of the loop on the who’s who kind of stuff.

  • Garrett says :

    It’s odd. I’ve watched Douglas’ “Blank White Cards” and it’s often hilarious. Melissa Gira writes excellent Erotica (“A Prayer to be Cock Sure” in “Dirty Girls” is a diamond among gems”) but reading even a bit of those blogs just felt like, I dunno, invading their privacy? Which it isn’t of course, because they’re adult and work in new media and know that they’re speaking to the whole of humanity with an internet connection.

    I think they’re both very talented creators, but just as gossip about actors and actresses leaves me flat this just seems like waste of good wit.

  • James says :

    I went to college with Nick, and I must say that it was pretty obvious as soon as you became even casually acquainted with the guy that he was always and only about one thing, perhaps two if you count himself. I must admit that it’s moderately vindicating to see him crash and burn somewhat more publicly, but I think it would be prudent for the world to view him as he’s been for some years now - a sometimes-witty naccicist who should always be kept at arm’s length. (There was a reason he became known as “Creepy Nick.”)

  • Wendy Blackheart says :

    Personally, if they were so worried about their livelihoods and future relationships, they would be mature enough to not break up messily on the internet. I’m 24 years old. The last time I had a public break up on the internet, I was 16 (uh, 16-18. I was very dramatic back then.) Now I’m a grown up, and I break up with people in the real world and don’t write about it until feelings have cooled.

    I may be young, modern and fairly liberal, but I still think that if you’re worried about how things on the net are going to affect your life, you shouldn’t put them there. When I decided to put my sex life, my kinky life, and my romantic life on the internet, I made the decision knowing how it could possibly affect my future, and I still chose to do it.

    But I don’t expect anyone not involved to really give a poop.

    I’m involved with the NYC sex blogging scene. At the moment, there’s a bit of drama going on relating to a blogger involved in a messy custody fight. Lots of people who know or know of this person are jumping in the fray.

    This to me, seems similar to the situation in the post - its only relevant to those who know or are involved with these people.

    (Not to say that Boinkology ought not to have posted this - I’ve got no problem with that. I just think its dumb, much like any other trivial drama people follow.)

  • wring says :

    insert .gif of michael jackson eating popcorn. LOVES IT!

  • Sarah says :

    Having met Nick Douglas in college, I think he’s 5’5″.
    He’s really short, and very creepy.
    But yeah, dude got laid more than…my sense of prudence would dictate. Which is scary.

  • miss b says :

    i can’t believe i just wasted 15 minutes of my saturday morning reading all that crap.

    further proof that short men are scummy lame.

  • Soma says :

    “Fameball” is not listed in urbandictionary. Someone care to amend this? One of the above-referenced microfame-seeking gadabouts has already posted a fine capsule definition, but I only have time to put the request out there. TIA.

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