BY
October 30, 2008
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Buy A Sex Doll Already!

In case you hadn’t heard, a Michigan man was recently arrested for servicing himself with a car wash vacuum cleaner. The charge was indecent exposure, but it turns out the guy was on parole for some other offenses, which I guess is why he ended up in jail rather than with just a citation.

I can’t find any terms for a fetish that involves getting physical with objects that aren’t a) shoes (or otherwise foot related), b) religious items, c) automobiles, or d) food. But these guys still deserve a support group and title. How about the “boys loving inanimate public objects” collective? (BLIPO?) Other founders can include the guy who, inconceivably, had sex with a bike, and the guy who had sex with a park bench. (Please be warned: the last story is highly cringe-worthy and probably should not be read with anyone in possession of a penis.)

Safety concerns aside, I don’t really see a problem with this particular predilection. Just keep it at home and remember that if it’s not alive, it’s not going to honor your safety word.

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