BY Garrett
November 4, 2008
5,172 views
4 Comments
Hayden Panettiere’s Sexy Silence

Though the fact she’s several years my junior fills me with creepy old man shame, the first music video from Hayden Panettiere, the “cheerleader” from NBC’s “Heroes,” is kinda sexy.

If you turn off the sound that is.

The song is the usual mix of “Boy” “You better” and “baby” whined and moaned over some beats. Throwaway music that could be sung by anyone and usually is. But the video is something of a sanitized version of Fiona Apple’s “Criminal” . That was a video that threw the moralizers into a tizzy back in 1997, portraying a languid Apple and other young waifs in various stages of naked at what was clearly a party gone wrong (or very right) at a porn mansion.

The videos share a glaring camera light and an almost complete focus on a lithe young star staring out whilst crooning. But Apple’s 11 year old (ugh…again…old) video is so much more daring. You can almost picture Panettiere saying “Yeah, I wanna, be like, Fiona Apple, but, y’know, not as, like, slutty.”

The sad thing being that “Criminal” is a far more honest, in it’s creepy almost voyeuristic, look at sexuality than any glossy pop-tart video before or since.

So go watch the cheerleader, but turn the sound off. Maybe crank some “Motorhead” (”Ace of Spade” is always a winner) or perhaps pull up some of Ms. Apple’s fine work. Juxtaposition is always sexy.

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Comments

  • fluffyh says :

    This is truly horrendous. She is only marginally saved by that picture you’ve used…

  • Japhet says :

    I’m really disappointed that the picture’s not a still from the video.

    And why does she sound like Paris?

  • Ari says :

    I tried to watch this video immediately following “Criminal” but to no avail I ended up stopping it about three seconds in. It was silenced as well. I fail to understand whatever glimmer of appeal you found in this conveyor belt girl.
    I agree with both of the aforementioned comments following your post.

    If you dig Motorhead watch Chibi from The Birthday Massacre….muted.

  • Piggythewonderdog says :

    > And why does she sound like Paris?

    The reason why she sounds like Paris Hilton and all other celebutantes is because she doesn’t have any real vocal talent. The “pop nymphet” sound is very much the result of heavy studio production work. Just like anyone can lose ten pounds or ten years with Photoshop, anyone can sound like a pop star with any of the top-end audio-production software. A top-notch audio engineer can transform the truly talentless into a pop sensation, mixed down into a catchy beat.

    That said, if you wanna hear legit vocalists, check out the pop stars coming out of the English school of soul. Amy Winehouse, despite her crackhead-ness, has phenomenal vocal talent that only comes around once in a decade. Duffy can get a little screechy for my taste, but she has talent. Adele was incredible in her SNL performance, and Estelle is ripping up the charts in the clubs with that “American boy” song. These ladies can sing for real. The test of how well they *truly* sing is to hear them live.

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