What happened, you ask? Well, after I got them thar full time blogging job, it got a lot harder to manage this blog as well. But don’t worry–I’m not gone for good. Just consider this a temporary break–and we’ll be back soon.

We’re not even going to touch the idea of porn “addiction” (last time we checked, pornography was not a narcotic)–if you really feel that your porn watching has gotten to a problematic level, is MTV really the place to turn to? Why not seek out the help of a therapist? Or just watch more porn?

We are so dreading the marketing campaign for this one.

[Photo by zeke_]

And he knows a thing or two about love.

Take for instance this lovely country tune about a lonely supervillain trying to win the hand of a damsel. Did the last great love song you heard have lines like ”

I made this half-pony half-monkey monster to please you
But I get the feeling that you don’t like it
What’s with all the screaming?

So get some mead poured in the skull of your foe, fire up the oscillator overthruster and get romantic.

Adding to the geeky love, yes, you can play the song on the “Rock Band” video game.

Although psychologists claim to be baffled by the responses, the reason they finally arrive at seems pretty obvious to me: Scarred men are thought to be tough and aggressive, and capable of protecting themselves or a partner. (”Yeah, I got a facial scar, but you should see the other guy!”) While male scars are often attributed to “a violent encounter,” “those on women were often attributed to accidents.” I don’t know about the rest of you ladies, but I came by my scar honestly in a bar room knife fight, just like most guys do!

On a related note, this made me think of the way in which female stars with scars often end up having their scars fetishized by those who find them attractive. (Like Padma Lakshmi or Josie Maran.) Tina Fey’s the only female star I can think of with a prominent scar on her face, but of men we have Seal, Demot Mulroney, and Joaquin Phoneix. It’d be interesting to do the study with women responding to pictures of both sexes; I think women look just as sexy with scars as men do.

[Photo by chebbs]

Male authors almost monopolize the Bad Sex Award, both in wins and nominations, and many of these same authors love to have the female recipient of their hero’s attentions 1) cry after coming and 2) come torrentially from no discernibly appealing sensations. You really should head over to the Guardian’s website and spend a solid hour reading all the various excerpts, but I couldn’t resist including a piece of my favorite, from Bedroom Secrets of the Master Chefs by Irvine Welsh:

She ordered me to roll over as she gets on top, shouting - I’M ON TOP, I’M ON FUCKING TOP OF YOU, SKINNER, YOU CUNT, and she fucks me, but she’s really just fucking herself into a bitter orgasm.

High five! If I had nickel for every time I’ve screamed “I’m on fucking top of you, you cunt”…

Lindsey Irvine points out that virtually any passage of sex writing sounds stupid if isolated and taken out of context (although there’s really no excuse for some of the moments highlighted by the Bad Sex committee) and also suggests that we should applaud and encourage writing about sex rather than ridiculing it. I agree—it would be wonderful to have an equivalent “Good Sex” Award that focused on sexy scenes in mainstream literature. I don’t agree, however, that writers should get a free pass just for attempting sex scenes. John Updike’s been writing for decades and still can’t get it right; his is not the fledgling attempt of an amateur writer, but the lazy, misguided, or arrogant writing of someone so established he just doesn’t really give a fuck. Pun intended.

[Heads up via Tango), photo by icecream]

An Iowa woman says her “life has been ruined” after she was discovered having sex in the restroom at a football game. She’s been the subject of harassment, publicly humiliated and lost her job.

But the story gets even more disturbing than the usual sex-negative media morality play. The woman is married, not to the man she was found with, and the police notified her husband because “she gave an inaccurate middle name”. Because they couldn’t just take the first and last? Why not call her mother or perhaps dear Aunt Sadie and show them pictures?

Add to this the woman has claimed she was so intoxicated she did not know the man and can’t recall any of the events. Yet nowhere does anyone ask if she was capable of even giving consent?

Both have been charged with “Indecent Conduct” and they were released. It’s a misdemeanor offense and yet she’s already lost her job, perhaps her marriage and been publicly identified in numerous press reports.  Her name is effectively a punchline.

While there’s a good argument for personal accountability to be made, at what point does our need to giggle, point and shame when it comes to sex? Two people in a bathroom stall might not be the recommended use of a toilet, but it’s hardly a crime worth laying waste to a person’s life over.

[Photo by rbrwr]

[Via Asylum, photo by justin_case]

How tired is it to see some rapper or rock star surrounded by bountiful, busty babes while “making it rain” or downing champagne?

How about a female singer spraying down male strippers with whipped cream?

Gloria Trevi does just that in her latest video, “Cinco Minutos.”

Besides serving up the beefcake with a side of lactose, Ms. Trevi borrows the giant ticking clock (and a minute) from Madonna’s “Four Minutes” video. It’s sexy and more than a little strange. Just how we like it.

Kasia of Beautifulanddepraved was apparently good enough to type up one of the recipes; it sounds delicious, but that’s because sugar and nuts is really a foolproof combination, and frankly, I’d ignore a little dirt mixed in if it means I get to eat candied pecans. (Not to equate semen with dirt; I’m just saying.)

Anyway, if anyone actually tries any of these recipes, please please let us know how they turn out!

[Via Syntheticpubes, photo by Richiex]