Ladies and gentlemen, step back from Garrett — he’s on fire! He wins the coveted Commetner Of The Week status yet again for his thoughts on burlesque…

So why would someone want a map of all their hookups? Garrett gives us one idea:

Just imagine, a big arrow of hook-ups pointing at your apartment. You’re going to get laid, oh yes you are…

(Fake) upskirt scandals come and go, but crazy is forever. Congrats to Robosheep for bringing some awesomely fun crazy to the discussion of sex ed in America…

In a week filled with politics as usual — bridges to nowhere, babies having babies, and, of course, some hearty mooseburgers — we went with a maverick pick that’s bound to inspire someone. Congrats to Alexa for her witty two-liner…

And the award for best comment is, coincidentally, also the award for worst thing to say during sex. Thanks to Patrick di Justo for this gem…

Enough with the mainstream media telling us what (they assume) it’s like to be a sex worker — let the sex workers tell us themselves! This week’s prize goes to Pixie for, well… for doing just that…

Dinosaurs break up one way, humans (sometimes) break up another… but what’s the best way of all to break up? With a text message haiku! Kudos to the boy for sharing this one with us…

Sometimes the most brilliant commenter never gets noticed. This week that all changes because I’m doing it and I can award this to anyone I want. The award for best comment of the week goes to…

Spring Break ’97 may have passed us by, but thanks to Betty Beauty, it can live forever in your pubes. Kudos to BitchBuzz for pointing out why having blue, dolphin shaped pubes might not be the best idea:

After a long hard battle, I’m back to health — and just in time to give out this week’s commenter award!

This week’s award goes to axe, who offered up these thoughts on choosing a time to reveal a secret to a new partner: